The ABC recently screened a documentary about transgender kids in the US.[1] The youngest child in the documentary was five years old. There is a movement to enable children labeled as transgender to transition as soon as possible. The belief is that this will cause less distress. The justification is that transgender people are many times more likely to suicide than non-trans people. At least that is the idea which seems to drive the psychologists and medical specialists. I have commented previously on transgender children.[2] Here I am more concerned here with the way the parents responded to the perception that their children are trans.
The parents were mostly very much concerned to facilitate the transition for their children, even the parents of the five-year-old. They seemed to believe that this reaction was the most loving one. The children had supposedly expressed the desire to be the opposite gender to the one they were born as. Therefore the parents took measures to change the child from boy to girl or girl to boy, buying new clothes, giving new names, and enabling the transition at school. Siblings also were trying to be on board with the idea and support the one who had decided to transition.
What is disturbing about this, aside from the problems associated with gender confusion, is that the parents seemed to have abdicated their role as mature guides to their children and allowed the children, even at five years old, to determine what is best. This is contrary to what parents are instructed to do for children (Deut 4:9-10, 11:19; Eph 6:1-4). Parents want their children to be happy and see it as their responsibility to make that possible. This is not something which applies only to the parents in this documentary. Parents in the western world seem to have taken this path en masse.
Of course, something far deeper is going on. I believe that this abdication of the responsibility as parents to guide children into righteousness and obedience is a symptom of the rejection of the Fatherhood of God in both society and the church. Rejection of the Fatherhood of God should not be equated with a lack of belief in God. Most Americans do believe in God and many Australians also believe in the existence of God. Certainly within the church belief in God is a given. What is not a given is belief that there is a heavenly Father who is concerned to discipline his children for their good. We need to be reminded again that God is not simply about unconditional love (which is true) but that our Father in heaven desires growth in his children toward maturity and holiness. This requires discipline on his part. Heb 12:5-6 reminds us, “And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? ‘My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”
There are clear symptoms of our rejection of the Fatherhood of God in church and society. In the church the idea of discipline is put aside. Spiritual disciplines seem to be a thing of the past. Many Christians do not read the Bible regularly or pray daily. Lack of discipline extends to giving, holiness, respect etc. There are few churches in which church discipline is exercised. Strong leadership in church must go beyond pandering to perceived needs and actually proclaim Christ. Trying to make congregations happy and entertained instead of faithfully teaching Jesus is on a par with parents who want only to make their children happy instead of actually parenting with discipline. Talk about the love of God is good, since he truly does love us. But we have a false conception of what love is, believing that this means acceptance without rebuke. Yet Jesus said to his church, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent” (Rev 3:19). Love without discipline is not real love.
Since the church has abandoned genuine proclamation of the Fatherhood of God, our western culture has lost its understanding of the need for genuine parenting. Parents want happy children and this means giving children what they want. If this means allowing a male child to act and dress like a girl then this is perceived as love. I reiterate that the problem does not lie primarily with the parents of transgender children. The problem is something produced by our culture which is weak in exercising discipline: no self-discipline, no parental discipline of children and weaker and weaker discipline from government as people simply ignore the law (driving when license has been suspended etc.).
The answer, then, to an explosion of transgender children, is to concentrate again on the relationship between Jesus and the Father. A true proclamation of the gospel involves speaking plainly about our need for reconciliation to the Father through the Son. In saying this I mean that we need to abandon vague talk about God and being saved and revive genuine trinitarian preaching. Jesus came into the world as the Son sent by the Father. He did the will of the Father, spoke the words of the Father and did the works of the Father. He went to the cross because he accepted that this was what his Father had decided was necessary in order to bring salvation to the world. Jesus accepted the discipline of his Father, since he trusted him. Jesus trusted that his Father would raise him again from the dead. When we encounter Jesus, he takes us to the Father and we become sons of God. We are given the Holy Spirit in order that we might know God as Father.
When the church grasps the Fatherhood of God there may again be hope that our culture can recover the importance of strong parenting. Until then we must actually take some responsibility for what is happening in our society, including the current epidemic of transgender children.