Plan of God 3. Betrothal
Bible Reading: Song of Solomon 3:6-11; 4:16b-5:1; 8:6-7; Eph 5:1-33
Introduction [] = omitted from sermon
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wWymjiM32js&si=AQjPhJRtkbjQdgxx
Over the decades, I have seen many changes in the Church, including the treatment of the Bible. As new Christians we heartily sung choruses with biblical words (Ruth 3:9; SoS 2:4, 16) (“my beloved is mine” “he brought me into his banqueting table” “extend the borders of thy mantle over me” https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/ns/265) whose ethos has disappeared. Many of these songs came from The Song of Solomon. Whereas Early Church Fathers preached lengthy series on the Song (https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/song-songs-sex-or-jesus/; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Song_of_Songs; cfhttps://purelypresbyterian.com/2016/08/01/the-allegory-of-the-song-of-solomon/), it is relatively neglected today. On the one hand we have conservative [grammatical-historical] approaches, on the other end of the spectrum a sort of shallow effervescent spirituality. You cannot read The Song of Solomon like Romans, it is rich poetry whose message breaks the limitations of standard prose. For example, I once heard a mature spiritual woman say, “I have never seen an ugly bride.” This is poetically true, but clearly not literally true. Some of the more challenging features of this book come from its Edenic-like atmosphere, where the ecstasies shared by the couple negate the guilt and shame of fallenness. The man and wife together image God (Gen 1:2ff.) in total mutual abandonment [in a way that evokes the trinitarian glory (John 17:22ff. https://solomonssongofsongs.com/tag/perichoresis/)].
Our failure to be mastered by the “whole counsel of God” in scripture (Acts 20:27), especially in relation to marriage, has dampened down our expectation of the closeness of the Second Coming. Paul can hold forth, “Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.” (2 Tim 4:8 cf. Rom 8:19.) Many translations have “longed for” or “set their hearts on” the ardent desire of believers to share in the impending Second Coming. To a holy Church Jesus said, “I am coming soon” (Rev 3:11; 22:7, 12, 20) and anticipating the enthusiastic reply, “Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!” (Rev 22:20). Today’s Western Church we has become “cold” in our love for Jesus (Matt 24:12). As I see it however, God is at work changing the spiritual atmosphere of our times.
Like New Testament days, our culture bears signs of being under God’s wrath (cf. Rom 1:18-32; 2 Thess 1:10), which, because of biblical ignorance concerning the truth of divinely ordained sexuality, increasing impinges on the people of God. It is a plain truth that all members of the new covenant community [in Christ], married, single, divorced or widowed, are betrothed to Jesus (John 3:29) exposing us all to a life call with a unique crucifying capacity and resurrecting capacity (e.g. Rom 6:1-14). [Since male and female are two essentially distinct types of humanity (https://theologyoutofbounds.wordpress.com/2012/03/08/karl-barth-on-gender-roles-in-the-church/) wounding and healing in Christ (cf. Deut 32:39) is experienced in non-identical, though equally painful and joyous, ways. (So excluding all radical feminist or patriarchal claims!). The failure to be grasped by this revelation of glory in the Gospel continues to practically divide the Church (complementarians vs egalitarians) along party lines.]
In a time in prayer with Donna recently I was overcome by a powerful sense of the holy and awesome mystery of God’s plan. Lest I mislead you (Luke 23:2, 14), I must say that our marriage, 50 years next Jan 5, has been under huge pressure, external and internal, since we decided to sell up and move to Bassendean about 6 months ago. Our call to remain married is so deep and our love for each other in Jesus so basic that we will persevere with joy until “death does us part”. PTL. These are the signs of a mature betrothal which God wills for all his people.
Seen in the Spirit, [(https://equip.sbts.edu/publications/journals/journal-of-theology/suffering-in-revelation-the-fulfillment-of-the-messianic-woes/)] stress in marriage must be seen as filling up the afflictions of the Lord. “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church, [25 of which I became a minister according to the stewardship from God that was given to me for you, to make the word of God fully known, 26 the mystery hidden for ages and generations but now revealed to his saints. 27 To them God chose to make known how great among the Gentiles are the riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.”] (Col 1:24-27). Sharing in tribulations is part of the cost of Christian marriage which makes it, to quote Paul, a “profound mystery” (Eph 5:32).
The Mystery of Marriage
That marriage is a “mystery” once hidden but now revealed to the Church is made known to believers only. (Eph 3:4-5). For example, the meaning of sex-in-marriage as a covenant act and cannot be discerned by those in contractual or casual sexual relationships (cf. 1 Cor 2:14-15). As the gift of each other to the world was contained in the first marriage in Eden, [made by God before the Fall,] so the power of the new covenant hallows the gift of man and wife to the coming world in Christ. Paul warns the Corinthian Christians, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. [For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? 16 What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God;”] (2 Cor 6:14-16). In other words, wilfully marrying an unbeliever is a sin for a disciple of Jesus (Cf. JY trying to catalyse a prayer meeting for the Anglican diocese of Perth!). Being gripped by a revelation of the “kingdom theology of marriage” is crucial for those called to preach the Gospel to an increasingly paganised world.
[Opening up the horizon beyond our personal testimony, I want to share a foundational experience for this series I had the first time when I entered our very large dining room. It was if I could sense a huge table in heaven, at the head of which was the Lamb of God and which was organically connected to innumerable tables on earth, these tables involved the Lord’s Supper, teaching on marriage from the Scripture, food and fellowship. Like the original apostolic pattern in Acts “And they devoted themselves to the apostles’teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers.” (2:42 cf. 5:42). From this, based on prayer, we have launched a couples group for people we know, independent of aspects of age or Christian maturity. ]
In the Beginning
Marriage contains an essential ordering which cannot be lost. Though Adam and Eve together formed the image of God (Gen 1:26-28), the Lord first spoke to the unmarried Adam alone about the knowledge of good and evil (Gen 2:15-17). In this spiritual testimony [upheld in Ephesians 5 , [and eternally,] Adam represents Christ and Eve the Church. Having named the animals Adam had direct authority to rule as lord over the serpent (Gen 2:19-10) through the priestly charge to “to work it/the Garden and keep it.” (Gen 2:15), that is, to keep the sanctuary of God pure [(cf. Num 18 https://emmausrbc.org/2018/10/07/sermon-adam-as-priest-genesis-24-17/). Later understood in Protestantism as “the priesthood of all believers ”.] Therefore Adam in Scripture is primarily held responsible for the Fall (1 Cor 15:22). “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate.” (Gen 3:6). When Paul charges, “Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor.” (1 Tim 2:14), he teaches that Adam blatantly and wilfully sinned. And so men often try to offload their guilt on women; “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” (Gen 3:12). 2 brothers once came to me to discuss a problem one of them had with his wife who had “the spirit of Jezebel”. That evil queen who tried to annihilate the prophetic ministry of Elijah (1 Ki 1:18-19). [Cf. the problem infecting the churches in Thyatira, to quote Jesus, she is “teaching and seducing my servantsto practise sexual immorality and to eat food sacrificed to idols” (Rev 2:20), after they had gone on for some time clearly expecting me to take their side in the marital wrangle] I quietly said, “For every Jezebel there has to be a weak Ahab. They fell silent and I discoursed on the problem of male passivity, a common sin in Australian culture (cf. Rev 21:8 “the cowardly”…JY Melbourne meeting). When anything other than Jesus becomes the centre of a marriage, money, sex, possessions, power, “happy wife happy life/happy husband/marriage”, or even the peace od the marriage itself, constitutes a case of “spiritual adultery (cf. https://www.gotquestions.org/spiritual-adultery.html). Only Jesus can heal such sin.
Holy Desire
As the temptation in Eden was grounded in the corruption of the God-given desire to eat and possess wisdom and power (Gen 3:6), God’s immediate judgement hands the shamed couple over to the conflicting power of desire, “Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”” (Gen 3:16, 4:7 cf. Rom 1:24. 26, 28). The healing power of desire comes only through sharing in the life of Christ. This is first symbolised in the passionate desire of the man and woman for one another in the Song of Solomon “His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable. ” (5:16; cf. 7:10), but perfectly consummated in Jesus’ unlimited longing for communion with us as his eternal Bride, “And he said to them,“I have earnestly desired/ desired with desire to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. [16 For I tell you I will not eat it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.]”” (Luke 22:15-16)
Fear of the wrath of a spouse ruins many marriages. The expulsive power of the affection of Christ (https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/the-expulsive-power-of-a-new-affection) can cast out ungodly fear, hence Paul’s words, “submitting to one another in the fear of Christ” (Eph 5:21 cf. 1John 4:17ff.). Because betrothal and wedlock are intensely spiritually contested Paul’s teaching on marriage is sandwiched between his exhortation “be filled with the Spirit” (Eph 5:18) and his teaching on spiritual conflict against evil powers in chapter 6. The attack on marriage in contemporary Western society is an attack on the traditional family but much more significantly it is opposition to the testimony of Jesus (Rev 19:10) which is the highest calling of the Church!
The Marriage Myth
Marriage must not to be mythologised. Many gay people agitated for “equal marriage” because they have been wrongly persuaded that marriage is necessary for the fulness of our human life. [I have known too many single people who have been “prophesied” over, falsely as it always seems to turn out, that God has the right man/woman for them. The Early Church understood such things so it took about 800 years before there was a distinctive Christian rite of marriage (https://www.sagu.edu/thoughthub/the-history-of-marriage/). [And why our current PM’S desire to delay his wedding until after the federal election is a sign of fundamental disorder (https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/politics/federal/pm-holding-off-on-wedding-until-after-the-election-20240831-p5k6u2.html)!]
The Ongoing Mystery Today
Whilst celibate men, like Jesus, Paul and John, were betrothed to the Church, the “one flesh” of ordinary marriage involves the new covenant sign of sexual intercourse [and a state of holy communion before God] that the Lord’s Supper/Eucharist can only point to. Human love endures and is fulfilled in joint and holy service of the Lord and walking in the Spirit (Gal 5:16-18) means a life of ongoing mutual forgiveness from the heart (Eph 5:1-2; Matt 18:35). Remember how Jesus refused to be Pharisaic about the sexual sin to the Samaritan woman and the one caught in the very act of adultery (John 4:18; 8:1-11). Biblical divorce is legitimate in the case of adultery, abandonment (Matt 19:9; 1 Cor 7:10ff) or the obstinate refusal of the parties to confess and forgive each other. Refusing free consent for intercourse is equivalent to negating the covenant of marriage, for marital sex is the means by which the covenant is sealed again and again. (cf. prophecy to a (unknown) woman by Don Rogers, “get back to your husband’s bed!), [of which sex is the principal covenant sign.] In such a case the marriage is dead because of practically denying the faith [https://www.stvolodymyr.ca/articles/an-orthodox-christian-perspective-on-the-mystery-of-marriage]. The growth of a couple in marriage is a powerful thing because it involves increasing union with the glorification of Jesus in his resurrection and ascension into heaven. The more a couple grow in Christ, the more feminine-and-masculine they become according to Christ’s fully realised likeness for the Church, [apart from any cultural stereotypes]. Such a spiritual understanding testifies that the Church is essentially holy. [“We believe in one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church. We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. We look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come.” (Nicene Creed)]
[In 1 Cor 11:2-16 Paul expounds an order of submission which moves from God/Father to Jesus to husband to wife. The key to the holy non-combative equality of this passage is to see that] as Jesus’s guiltless/shameless transparency was the key to the pouring forth of the glory of God to the world so it is with Christian husbands and wives (Phil 1:10; Col 1:22; 1 Thess 3:13; Jude 24).] Today. the Spirit of the Father is calling us to radiate Christ’s likeness (John 14:9) in a manner that checks husbands and wives from accusing or ever blaming one another (Eph 4:25-5:2 cf. Phil 1:10; Col 1:22; 1 Thess 5:23; Jude 24)!
Marriage as Eternal
Marriage points to eternity. The intensity of the New Testament expectation of Jesus’ Return is the climax of God’s [interpenetrative] love of us by Word and Spirit sealed by Christ’s blood. Unveiling the symbolism of the Song of Solomon, a commentator remarks, “[Heaven will be all marriage..] in eternity everyone is to be married to everyone else…with an intensity akin to “being in love” which impels individual couples to spend their whole lives together…Christian marital love is a true leftover from Paradise” (Mason)
Today, as in biblical times, the measure of the Church’s love for Jesus is being strongly tested. [Paul teaches, “The aim of our charge is love that issues from a pure heart and a good conscience and a sincere faith.” (1 Tim 1:5) here, “love’ stands for the entire visible outward life of a disciple produced by genuine faith obedience to the truth (Gal 5:7 cf. Rom 1:5; 16:26; Eph 5:26). James remarks, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12)] Loving Jesus is no casual relationship but an all permeating prolonged manner of life.
Conclusion
Marriage is [NOT an impossible call to all people, but] the testimony of a missional community to a lost and broken world. Faithfulness in marriage means more than sustaining traditional values, it is a prophetic witness to culture [and state] of a higher and eternal world (https://anglican.org.au/wp-content/uploads/2019/05/1442-FIS-Consolidated-November-2016-current-at-190918.pdf) for the “one flesh” [initiated in Eden and] bought for the Church through the blood of the cross (1 Cor 6:19-20) is a living parable of the eternal state of the people of God (Rev 19). Therefore marriage renewal is an essential ingredient of what we call revival, for it broadcasts to all evil powers the Christ-centred creation of a radically new alternative society. The state of Christian marriages is not a private affair, for discipleship has community-wide implications (1 Cor 5-6) of what it means to be obedient followers of Jesus. Like it or not (Matt 5:28), sexual sin, in all its forms, is a form of cancer that leavens the whole lump of the Church thus requiring serious Church discipline (1 Cor 5:6).
Holy matrimony calls us to mutual submission (cf. Eph 5:21) in a mutual exchange of honour, celebration and tenderness in which both parties grow in the freedom they give in the Spirt to each other. Without a revelation of Christ in the lives of betrothed Christian men and women the plague of promiscuity and domestic violence traumatising Australia can never be healed . Marriage renewal must be part of our prayers for national revival. The healing of our marriages, [starting inside the Church (cf. 1 Pet 4:17),] means recovering the prophetic testimony of Jesus and delivering men and women from the power of fleshliness through the cross. The Spirit of the Lord is calling the entire Body of Christ to a sacrificial and prophetic act of service in body, soul and spirit (1 Thess 5:23). This is no small thing.
In commentating on Song of Solomon 8:6-7, “love is strong as death, passion as fierce as the grave. Its flashes are flashes of fire, the very flame of the Lord. 7 Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly scorned ”, Augustine remarks, loving kindness is extremely violent in bringing us to salvation [cf. Matt 11:12] , “by this love…the martyrs were [literally] set aflame”. So a full orbed Christian spirituality of marriage contains the message of the Gospel and our sure hope of resurrection from the dead!