The Mystery of Marriage

Revelation 3: Presence in All Things

Personal Matters

As indicated in the first teaching this series is an exercise in mystical theology. Its content is not derived from reading or listening to Christian teaching but proceeds from an immediate awareness of God’s presence when I am in close proximity to my wife Donna. It is something that simply happens through a spiritually intimate relationship. This article contains a simple truth that carries the potential to radically empower the prayer life of married couples, especially by increasing the faith of men.

Life can be tough. Last week Donna’s mum was buried, today she went back to school after 14 weeks of long service leave and she has been recently suffering from several aggravating health conditions. Is she alone in these struggles or can it be said that her husband is with her in all things? Despite the common feminine conviction that the average man “just doesn’t get it” emotionally, there must be a sense that I am always with Donna in whatever she is doing. If this is not true our marriage is stripped of meaning. The Bible’s teaching on these things begins with the need for mutual presence.

In the Beginning

After the first man is placed alone in the Garden of Eden God declares his solitary state is “not good” (Gen 2:18). This divine declaration stands in stark contrast to the pronouncements earlier in Genesis that all the LORD had made was “very good” (1:31). God’s solution to the state of “not good” is to create a woman as a companion, helper and wife of the man. In the togetherness of marriage as two persons in “one flesh” Adam and Eve were called to share in the fellowship of God as three Persons in one Spirit (Gen 2:24). When the first couple sinned they lost touch with the Spirit of glory (Rom 3:23; 2 Cor 3:18; 1 Pet 4:14). In covering themselves up with fig leaves and hiding from God they ceased to be fully present to one another (Gen 3:7-8). What was lost in Adam is restored in Christ (Rom 5:15-21); Christian marriage is essentially a matter of being present to one another in the power of the creative Spirit.

Where are You?

The following passage has caused commentators many troubles. “For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. ⁴ So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present…” (1 Cor 5:3-4). Despite some translations, Paul does not say “as if present”; though in another physical location he is present in spirit with the church as it assembles. The ability to trans-locate is not a property of Paul’s human spirit as such, but his spirit in communion with the Holy Spirit who indwells the church in Corinth as his temple.

Paul makes this clear when he reminds the church; “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple.” (1 Corinthians 3:16-17 ESV). And in a passage more directly related to the subject of marriage; “he who is joined to the Lord is one Spirit….Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor 6:17, 19-20 ESV).

The implication of a Christian couple being part of the Church as the temple of the Spirit, and their own individual bodies also being the Spirit’s dwelling place, is that their marriage is aan inner sanctuary. The Bible’s teaching that the union of husband and wife “refers to Christ and the church.” (Eph 5:32) testifies to a powerful reality in the spiritual realm: as we abide in Christ the Spirit fills the temple of our marital relationship as he fills the body of Jesus (John 2:19-21; 3:34). One implication of this is that as Jesus is always with his Bride the Church, whether she feels this or not, so in the Spirit there is no neat physical boundary between a husband and a wife.

Presence through Word and Spirit

If I by faith pray in the name and power of the Lord Jesus for Donna’s experience in the classroom my human spirit must be present with her through the Holy Spirit. There is no necessary reason for a Christian spouse ever to feel the “not goodness” of being alone ever again. There is something in this mystical union of love which makes up marriage that transcends space, time and death. It is surely a share in the undying love of Christ our Bridegroom in the Spirit of the Father.

Time and again I have encountered believing couples where the wife is desirous of prayer with her mate and he is too spiritually shy to lead. To overcome this barrier men need to get their eyes off themselves and to put them on the all sufficient sacrificial love of Christ (Eph 5:25). As couples we are called to share the universal dominion of Christ as we pray for one another’s life situations expectantly believing we will be present with them in all things (Rom 5:17; Heb 2:9). This is our call in the Lord. Trusting in these spiritual realities allows the Spirit of Jesus to be creatively present with our partner and to transform their life situations by the power of God.

Conclusion

As husbands and wives we tend to measure our contribution to our spouse’s life by how we feel about our personal spiritual condition. This is to walk by sight and not by faith (cf. 2 Cor 5:7). Yet as Jesus is always with his Bride through the Spirit even when we do not feel his presence, so husbands and wives must believe that through their prayers for one another they are indissolubly linked together. This is a deep and invisible spiritual reality whose truth can make a radical difference within Christian marriages and the cause of God’s kingdom amongst us.