3 John 15 “The friends send you their greetings. Greet the friends there, each by name.”
Introduction
Loneliness – disconnected, cut off, empty, unknown, distant, n.b. not the same as being alone (e.g. Jesus in wilderness) “I’m as lonely as hell” (Tony Hancock suicide note)
1. Is this a common problem among men that you know?
2. Is this getting worse in society? In church?
3. Is it a male more than a female issue? Why?
4. Is this a past or present problem for you?
5. How do people try to cope/cover their loneliness?
The Causes of Loneliness
1. Loneliness and rejection: it involves a lack of self – acceptance (personal decision)
2. Loneliness and not being heard: need an investment of time and energy into our lives
3. Loneliness as a result of self- withdrawal: usually flows from rejection
Loneliness and God
1. God is not a lonely Person –community of Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Eph 4:4- 6)
2. God creates friends – God chooses not to be alone (Gen1:26), shares his heart with Adam, invites him into his life
3. God gives Adam a companion (Gen2:18) i.e. God and the animals were not enough
4. Losing the friendship of God – Adam chose not to listen = obey the Word of God (Gen 2:17). Adam took himself more seriously than God (Gen 3:5).
5. Cost of rebellion is unknowability, a punishment too hard to bear (Gen 4:13- 14)
God and the Loss of Human Companionship
1. God is alone again – sin means God’s loss of pleasure in humanity (Ezek 18:32)
2. Covenant is for companionship - “your God” “my people” (Gen 17:7- 8; Ex 19:5)
3. Idolatry means isolation- for humanity and for God (Zech 7:13)
4. The covenant mediator is coming Isa 42:6
Jesus and Loneliness
1. Fellowship with his Father – John 5:19
2. Fellowship with friends – common life (food, talk, trials, joys), family (Matt 12:50)
3. Love for the friends will mean death (John 15:12 – 15)
3. The loneliness of the cross – Jesus seeks support (Mark 26:36 -40); Jesus is alone (Isa 53:3; Mark 15:34)
4. Resurrection means reunion – with God and friends(Luke 24:41; Heb 12:2)
Christian Men and Loneliness
1. Church is called to be a place of sharing – “all things in common” (Acts 2:42– 47)
2. Friendship with Jesus is experienced through sharing his interests (John 15:14- 15)
3. Loneliness is the opportunity to find God as “the God of all comfort” (2 Cor 1:3); “we will find a living well if we reach deep enough under the surface of our complaints” (Henry Nouwen) John 4:14
4. Loneliness and service – other centredness resolves loneliness. “If you like people they will like you.”
5. Take responsibility for our lives – neither avoidance nor attention seeking; take the risk of reaching out; trust that you won’t be (finally) condemned
“I’m sorry to see you living in this Old People’s Home.” The old man drew himself up to his full height and said: “My friend, I do not live in an Old People’s Home – I live in God.”