Grief upon Grief: true and false spiritual fathering
Introduction
Somewhere around 3 am, unable to sleep, I inquired of the Lord if there was a specific issue disturbing my heart. I sensed the Spirit illuminating that I was suffering grief for the situation of several men cut off by spiritual leaders close to them. Such vicarious suffering is biblical. Paul speaks of many “sleepless nights” (2 Cor 6:5) and “the daily pressure on me of my anxiety for all the churches” (2 Cor 11:28). As I have continued to pray about this grief I have received further revelation concerning its depths and origin.
Given that the spiritual father-son (or mother-daughter) relationship is precious and rare (1 Cor 4:15-17), under what circumstances could it be right for a father-in-God to stipulate to a “son” that unless they changed their behaviour the relationship was terminated? Or when could a shepherd of God’s flock excommunicate a sheep? I once witnessed an argument between a senior minister and a troublesome parishioner which ended with the exclamation: ‘You are excommunicated’. The parishioner quickly found another place to worship and the priest in charge showed no signs of grief. Such superficiality of testified that the spiritual leader wasn’t imaging the Chief Shepherd of us all (1 Pet 5:1-5). Church discipline is no light matter.
Authority to Exclude
The heavy spiritual weight of discipline was transmitted from Jesus to Peter, ‘I will give you the keys of the Kingdom of Heaven, and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven’ (Matthew 16:19. cf. Matt. 18:18; John 20:23). ‘Binding’ and ‘loosing’ have a rabbinical background, where the terms include the authority to permit synagogue membership or cast out of the gathering of God’s people. This prospect was feared by the Jews of Jesus’ day (John 9:22 cf. Luke 6:22). The early Church defined the boundaries of membership of the new covenant people of God with great care.
In Matthew 18:15-20 Jesus laid down a process of private admonition, calling witnesses, and consultation with “the church” prior to any excommunication. Paul speaks of “taking note” of trouble makers (Romans16:17; 2 Thessalonians 3:14) who must be separated out from the assembly (1 Cor 5:7; 2 Thess 3:14; Titus3:11; 2 John 10) only if they were unrepentant for sinful behaviour or false teaching (Rom 16:17; Tit 3:10; 2 John 10). The power of excommunication was for renewing of the church, “Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened’ (1 Cor. 5:7), and for restoring the sinner, “if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness” (Gal 6:1). Rare are the spiritual fathers who manifest such gentleness today.
Orphaning the Spirit
The natural is a mirror to the spiritual. Natural fatherlessness multiplies poverty, ill health, sexual brokenness, and imprisonment (https://www.theaustralian.com.au/inquirer/black-lives-matter-but-dads-should-matter-first/news-story/6a15df9eeb3ffcbe6a9ae5a92dff1400). I am suggesting leaders lacking a genuine fathering/Abba Spirit (Gal 4:4-6) are multiplying an “orphaned spirit” across our churches. We usually call this a lack of discipleship. Paul is open about the passion and depths of his fathering the Corinthians: “I am afraid that when I come again my God will humble me before you, and I will be grieved over many who have sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual sin and debauchery in which they have indulged.” (2 Cor 12:21). He does not want to come with a “rod” but with “love and a spirit of gentleness” (1 Cor 4:21). Paul’s public grieving over the sins of his sons and daughters would be a sign of his genuine apostolic authority. When was the last time you saw your pastor tear up over sin in your fellowship??
The intensity of ministering discipline in the New Testament flows from an understanding of judgement rarely accepted today. Wheat and weeds may grow together in the world until the Final Judgement (Matt13:24-30, 36-43), but the revelation of God’s kingdom through the Church requires the Body of Christ to be cleansed of intentional acts of sin (1 Cor 6:9-11). Homosexuality we are familiar with in this list, but what about its socially acceptable dispositions of greed and gluttony? Immature spiritual fathers are weak at effectively disciplining such common transgressions because at the heart level they are not free from the same root problem in their own lives.
spirit of Deprivation
In prayer this morning I felt the Spirit say that contemporary authoritarian leaders, pastoral and political alike (Trump etc.), all share an inner spirit of deprivation. Their profound inner emptiness, grounded in the lack of fathering into their own hearts, drives them to be recognised as significant in a harsh way that marginalises others. Instead of “laying up” for their children (2 Cor 12:14) via self-giving love these men “accumulate for themselves” (2 Tim 4:3) followers who suffer like them from an “orphaned spirit”. They are the opposite of the true heart of parenting and a constant source of grief for the Spirit of God (Isa 63:9-10).
Conclusion
Jesus and Paul placed great emphasis on godly discipline because they believed a final separation between the kingdom of God and the dominion of darkness was coming. Gracious and mournful Church discipline is a public practice prophesying of the ultimate unbridgeable gulf (Luke 16:26) between those who live by the Word of God and those who refuse it. The Western Church must beware lest through the progressive accumulation of moral and doctrinal error we become unrecognisable as God’s holy people. When this happens we become an obstacle to the unsaved understanding the true message of the gospel. In such serious circumstances the Holy Father must revive true loving discipline in our midst.
Administering correction (2 Tim 3:16) is no easy or pleasant thing to do, but it is justified by its fruitfulness (Heb 12:5-11). If I never rebuked brothers, and occasionally sisters, how could I claim holy love for them!
How should we pray for the authoritarian leaders of our time, pastoral or political? I can think of nothing higher than the prayer from the grieving heart of Jesus himself: ““Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”” (Luke 23:34).