The Disciplines of the Father

Readings  https://youtu.be/7GWSuPsayls

John 15:12-17 [] = not spoken * = included in verbal presentation

4. Jesus’ Friends   

Introduction

Nothing in the life of Jesus is accidental or without purpose, including how his Father worked through his friends to make him perfect[1]. Whilst some culturally influenced Christians believe that the Lord allows us the liberty to choose our own friends, Jesus stated emphatically concerning his friends[2], “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” (John 15:16)[3]. This divine arrangement was included in the Father’s eternal choice that, “all things were made through Christ and for Christ” (Col 1:16). We must never subject our understanding of Jesus’ experience of friendship, or anything else that is human for that matter, to our own experiences. Our friendship with him cannot be placed on the same level as his friendship with us. Whether successful or not, I have long tried to live by the motto, “Any friend of Jesus[4] is a friend of mine.” The vision of Jesus for friends[5] was radical for his time, because he saw in the Spirit the breadth of the all-inclusive End of the new world he came to create[6] [7] [8].

Abraham the Friend of God

Whilst (national) Israel, with its mix of believing and unbelieving people[9],  is never said to be the “friend” of God[10], in scripture Abraham is singled out by the Lord as “my friend” (2 Chron 20:7; Isa 41:8; James 2:23). The friendship between God and Abraham is most clearly revealed when the LORD[11] turns up outside his tent and treats Abraham as an intimate confidante because of the covenant relationship with his household[12], “(The Lord said, “Shall I hide from Abraham what I am about to do, 18 seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him? 19 For I have chosen him, that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing righteousness and justice, so that the Lord may bring to Abraham what he has promised him.”). God is about to destroy the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, and by his sharing this secret plan with Abraham, he empowers the patriarch with extraordinary confidence to keep pressing down the number of the righteous, as the threshold for saving the city, from 50 to 45 to 40 to 30 to 20 to 10. This ongoing dialogue with the Lord builds his relationship with Abraham as a friend. (So too for our own prayer lives.) Whilst to be treated as a friend of God was an inestimable privilege, it was an extraordinary responsibility on which the lives of many in those wicked cities depended. Though testifying to Abraham as a great man of faith, he was far from a perfect man. When earlier in the story Abram’s[13] barren wife Sarai approached him about having a child through her maid Hagar[14] (Gen 16:1ff.), he failed to ask the Lord whether this was the right thing today[15]*, the resultant “child of the flesh” (Ishmael) became a testimony to the conflict between flesh and the Spirit who alone gives faith (Gal 4:21-31)[16]. This was a test of faith that the friend of God failed, and it is recorded in scripture as a warning for us (“on whom the end of the ages has come” (1 Cor 10:11)).

False friends: The Betrayer

Whilst we would expect every element of the covenant relationship between God and Israel to be repeated between Jesus and his disciples, the reality that plays out is still embarrassing and shocking. Approaching the hour of his death Jesus spoke to the Twelve, “I am not speaking of all of you; I know whom I have chosen. But the Scripture will be fulfilled, ‘He who ate my bread has lifted his heel against me.’” (John 13:18). The reference is to Psalm 41:9 “Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted his heel against me.”.  In Jesus’ time, eating with someone indicated a commitment to deepen a friendship. Jesus had previously said, “Did I not choose you, the twelve? And yet one of you is a devil.” 71 He spoke of Judas the son of Simon Iscariot, for he, one of the twelve, was going to betray him.” (John 6:70-71). Jesus “knew from the beginning[17] who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him” (John 6:64)   At the moment of the betrayal we are told about Judas, “after he had taken the morsel (from the hand of Jesus), Satan entered into him.” (John 13:27). And at the point of his arrest the Lord spoke out in love, “Do what you came for, friend.” (Matt 26:50). All of which is the language of sincere intimacy.

Everyone has had friendships that descended into obsession, exclusion, or possessiveness[18], I recall a woman with a sorry history with men who became infatuated with me even though I warned her that the day would come when she would become disappointed with me and feel rejected, which of course happened. Jesus’ love however for all his disciples was so completely unconditional that none of the others were able before the hour to identify Judas as the traitor (Mart 26:20-25). Judas had been sent out with the others to “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, cast out demons. You received without paying; give without pay. 9 Acquire no gold or silver or copper for your belts, 10 no bag for your journey, or two tunics or sandals or a staff, for the labourer deserves his food.” (Matt 10:8-10). Judas was a miracle worker who in the commission of Jesus learned to live by faith alone.

How difficult and painful it must have been for Jesus to live three years with the knowledge that no amount of love could change the heart of the one whom he finally called, “the son of destruction”[19]* (John 17:12). The word about the Lord in Habakkuk was perfectly fulfilled in Jesus, “You who are of purer eyes than to see evil and cannot look at wrong, why do you idly look at traitors and remain silent when the wicked swallows up the man more righteous than he?” (Hab 1:13). It must have been that the immense love the Father kept supplying to Jesus for Judas covered his sin (Prov 10:12; 1 Pet 4:8) and restrained his iniquity until it was time for his rebellion to be revealed. Love for the lost was certainly perfected in Jesus in this way like in no other[20]. Most of us fail to develop deep friendships, even with other believers, let aside spouses, because we fear that opening ourselves up will lead to intolerable pain. Jesus trusted the Spirit in his heart, especially in his vulnerability to Judas.

Some years ago in Hong Kong at a missions conference I ran into a dear Indian brother who I had not seen for some years. Asking him how he was, I could see he was in a lot of relational anguish. He explained that he had been grooming a young couple to take over leadership of his church organisation, but they had suddenly walked away from him for a better opportunity. He was in real grief because they were like a son and daughter to him.  I told him I had a word from the Lord for him, I was am quite convinced it was a true word, though tough. “If Jesus needed a Judas to perfect him in holiness[21], so have you.” When I look back at the people who I feel have betrayed me, a lady who was a long term counsellor but painfully betrayed a confidence shared in private at a public meeting, a co-worker who came to my house to cut off a relationship, a godly man who accused me of trivialising his ministry, a long term prayer partner who just “disappeared” without explanation, I have to consider myself “blessed” (James 5:11; 1 Pet 3:14; 4:14) not to be left as an “average” Western Christian short of relational trials.

Passion predictions

You might recall Jesus’ outpouring of godly[22] frustration when his disciples were unable to cast a demon out, ““O faithless and twisted generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you?” (Matt 17:17)[23]. Or when he spoke of “the leaven of the Pharisees” and his closest companions had no comprehension that he was speaking figuratively of the teaching of the Pharisees.[24] Whilst Jesus, unlike his prophetic predecessor, Moses[25], never lost touch with the Father under the pressure of community unbelief (Num 20:10-13), the spiritual dullness/lack of faith of the disciples deeply tried him.

Three times he prophesied to them privately that “the Son of man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders and the chief priests and the scribes and be killed, and after three days rise again” (Mark 8:31; 9:30-31;10:33-34). Yet their commitment to an alternative model of force-filled conquering messiahship was so deep that Peter scandalously crossed the line and taking Jesus aside “rebuked” him to his face, to which the Lord replied, ““Get behind me, Satan! For you are not setting your mind on the things of God, but on the things of man.”” (Mark 8:32-33). I remember being identified with the devil by a pastor’s wife I was working with, it was quite a traumatic experience*[26].

It is impossible for ordinary human thinking to grasp the purposes of God. Which is why we need the worst sort of crises to open us up to divine truth. We must see Israel’s long resistance to God’s Word through the prophets as a foreshadowing of the spiritual darkness of the disciples (cf. Mark 12:1-12). To quote scripture about Jesus, the Lord was graced to develop patient “endurance” (Rev13:10; 14:12) and “perfect patience” (1 Tim 1:16) through being surrounded by friends who were slow to listen and quick to speak (cf. James 1:19). All this comes to a climax in his passion and death.

Gethsemane and denial

Jesus took into Gethsemane his three closest confidantes, Peter, James and John, as witnesses of his struggle and watchers with his soul (Mark 14:34, 37-38). In their fleshly weakness however, they fail to resist temptation, but Jesus submits his will fully to his “Abba, Father” (Mark 14:36). When arrested by an armed mob they “all fell away” (Mark 14:27), but Peter, being stronger and braver than the rest presses on to, in his mind, die with Jesus. Yet, when questioned three times by a servant girl at the very bottom of the scale of power[27] he denies Jesus each time (Mark 14:66-72). The accuracy of his predictions about all this were surely not sources of comfort but grief to the Lord. One final note from this story, we read, “And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” 62 And he went out and wept bitterly.” (Luke 22:61-62). The grief that pierced Peter’s heart was not one of conviction of sin as before a judge and tribunal (cf. John 16:8), it was an experience of having someone with the authority of God looking into the depths of the darkness of your soul without condemning you. (This is a huge challenge for the Church.) For Peter, the all-forgiving gaze of Christ into the depths of his blatant wilful wickedness was the beginning of his turning to follow Jesus as Lord of all (Acts 10:36) and to lead others in the same way, it was an answer to Jesus’ earlier prayer, ““Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, 32 but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”” (Luke 22:31-32). In a real sense, the first friends of Jesus were discipled twice. (That is, before and after the cross.)

Friends beyond the Cross[28],[29]

With Jesus, the end of the story is always its highest point. One popular definition of friendship is “A friend is someone who knows all there is to know about you and loves you just the same.”[30] The way the Gospel story ends with Jesus and his friends far exceeds this expectation of unwavering identical love. Our friendship with Jesus continues after all our failures to believe in his death and resurrection.

Whoever the disciples were on the road to Emmaus, the Lord gradually unveiled to them his glory through the scriptures. At first their eyes were “kept from recognising him”[31]. Then follows a rebuke, “O foolish ones, and slow of heart[32] to believe all that the prophets have spoken! 26 Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?” 27 And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself.” (Luke 24:25-27). Shortly after we read, “their eyes were opened, and they recognized him” so they are moved to testify to each other “Did not our hearts burn within us while he talked to us on the road, while he opened to us the Scriptures?” (Luke 24:31-32). Serious Bible readers will be transported by the language back to Genesis 3:7 when on the occasion that Adam and Eve ate the fruit together “the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked”. The first couple from whom the Lord kept nothing as friends were originally bound together by God’s Word of life, but under sin were now mutually exposed in guilt, shame and fear. The unnamed disciples with Jesus on the journey to Emmaus, symbolising the discipleship journey we all share with Christ, become encompassed by a glory greater than what was ever lost in Eden. We have access to the glory of the risen Lord forever, this is what it means to be friends together with Jesus[33] who longs to share with us all the Father has shared with him.