Foundations
The foundational Christian framework for understanding parenting must be the way the Father raised Jesus, the Son of God made man (Luke 2:40). This was how a human being came to full maturity (Heb 5:7-9). The relationship between the Father and the Son was such as to create the maximum space for the loving wisdom of God to raise Jesus from childhood to adulthood.
The Complete Image of Parenting
The parenting style of God the Father is characterised by “letting go” – whilst Mary and Joseph want to hold onto the child Jesus he is found about his Father’s work in the temple (Luke 2:41-51). From the beginning Christ’s life has been in great danger; he must flee the murderous persecution of Herod, and attempts are made to kill him from the time of his first sermon onwards (Luke 4:29). Finally, the Father in his perfect wisdom lets go of Jesus on the cross in handing him over to our sin, ““My God, my God why have you forsaken me?”” (Mark 15:34). From the complete release by the Father flows the Son’s total committal(sic) to God, with his dying breath Jesus prays, ““Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.””(Luke 23:46). The mutual letting go of Father and Son creates the maximum space for the Holy Spirit to work, the result is resurrection power.
Application
The gift of children confronts parents with two seemingly irreconcilable realities, the wonder of a new life that reflects the image and likeness of God and the growing recognition that our children are like us i.e. self-centred and a danger to themselves. Consistent Christian parenting involves coping with these twin realities without permissive indulgence or controlling authoritarianism. This involves learning to let go and place children by faith through prayer into the hands of God – when they are crying, when they need to be given room to attempt their first unaided step, when it is time to let them go to school, when they are old enough to make vocational and relational decisions and so on. Such Christ-informed letting go creates the maximum space for the wisdom and power of God (1 Cor 1:24) and allows children (and parents) to become more and more like Jesus.