This previously appeared in my blog (2018).
Yesterday I went to speak to someone because I am trying to promote my upcoming book. It was a worthwhile conversation even if it did not result in exactly what I was hoping for. The person I was speaking with gave me some marketing advice, which I am going to follow because it was helpful. But I wondered why I could not see that point of view myself.
Why can’t I be a complete person on my own? Why can’t I simply figure things out if I try hard enough? Why can’t I simply rely on the leading of the Holy Spirit? What is wrong with me?
Well, there are, no doubt, many things wrong with me as a sinner. But the fact that I cannot be complete on my own is not one of them. The need for other human beings is something good not bad. In the beginning God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Gen 2:18). Adam was in the Garden of Eden and in perfect fellowship with God. There was no sin in the world and nothing but good around him. And yet he was not complete on his own. It was not enough for him to simply have relationship with God. Adam needed another human being to be complete.
This is still true. People need other people in order to be complete. Now I am not speaking about marriage here but about ordinary non-sexual relationships. People need people. We are not made complete as individuals. The difference between Adam in the Garden and us as sinners is that we falsely believe that we can be independent. Yet this is not the way God has made the world.
It is not merely the culture that thinks this way. Christians do not always understand the human need for interdependence. Certain churches teach that the Holy Spirit will give you whatever spiritual gift you need in a given situation. If that were the case then I would presently have a gift that would equip me in regard to marketing. But I don’t because this idea is unbiblical and contrary to God’s design for humans. The Holy Spirit gives gifts but he does not promote independence. The body of Christ is meant to be interdependent. We need one another. Even people with the same gifts need one another. I have a gift of teaching but I need the teaching of others on subjects I do not understand. I need the teaching of others on subjects I do understand because my viewpoint is limited. I desperately need the gifts of other people when it comes to understanding marketing.
So I cannot be a complete person on my own. I am not meant to be complete in the sense of having the capacity to do everything, having every skill and spiritual gift. That would make me seem complete, but in fact make me completely isolated from others and draw me further away from reflecting the God in whose image I am made. God made me to be like him and God does not live an isolated life, complete as a monad (single source acting alone). God is Trinity—Father, Son and Holy Spirit; he is eternally communion. We might say that God the Father is never complete without the Son and the Spirit.
Therefore, the fact that I am very good at some things but very unskilled and clueless about other things is not necessarily something bad. It causes dependence on other people and that is good. Being a complete human being is less like being a photo and more like being part of a jigsaw puzzle. The photo can stand alone, but the jigsaw puzzle has many pieces that are meaningless without all the other pieces. To be complete, then, we need to be connected with other people. My completeness depends on you and yours on mine.