A sermon for Dalkeith Road Church of Christ 23/8/2020
“It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Cor. 13:5 NIV).
It is far easier to say, “I love you” than it is to actually put that into practice. In thinking about this message, I found many lists on the internet of ways to distinguish between love and manipulation. The fact that such lists exist implies that people often use “love” as a way to get what they want from another person—for example, help, money, sex, control or affirmation. Therefore, we need to know what love really means. This is why we have such an extensive list of characteristics of love in 1 Cor 13. If we were left to our own devices, we could easily reduce love to a feeling or some nice words, instead of living lives that imitate Christ.
Today’s characteristic of love is expressed negatively: love is not self-seeking (NIV) OR love does not insist on its own way (ESV). When I was last here, I observed that Paul chose the characteristics of love to emphasise because of the state of the church in Corinth. This is absolutely true of the statement “love is not self-seeking”. The church in Corinth was a prime example of a group of people committed to self-seeking or seeking their own way at the expense of everyone else. Several of the issues which are addressed in this letter demonstrate that the church in Corinth did not understand what love is because they put themselves first in all kinds of ways. So I am going to consider the different ways in which the Corinthians were self-seeking instead of loving.
I am keenly aware of my own lack of love for God and for other people. Self-seeking is the default setting for all of us. Because of this I want to begin with a short word of encouragement. What motivates us to love others? Christ and our relationship with him. What enables us to love others? The fact that we are being sanctified by Christ. What happens when we fail to love others? We call upon Jesus to forgive our sins based on his death for our sakes. Don’t measure your salvation by how many times you fail to love people perfectly. Measure your salvation by what Jesus has done for you and trust him. Christians strive to love others because they are first of all saved and forgiven. Never the other way around. The Christian life is about Christ in us and us in Christ. Faith in Christ is what makes a person a Christian, not perfection. Sin does not undo our salvation and good behaviour does not procure our salvation.
Having said that, let’s consider the negative example of the Corinthian church. They truly had a handle on self-seeking.
The first example of the Corinthian self-seeking is in chapter 6. They thought so much of themselves that they had no problem suing each other in the law courts. Paul admonished them: “To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!” (1 Cor. 6:7-8 ESV). We live in an increasingly litigious society but this passage is not addressed to the worldly culture of the day. It is addressed to the church. The Christians there were deeply concerned with their own rights and not at all concerned with the rights of others in the church. In the pursuit of their own rights they filed law suits and even wronged and defrauded fellow Christians. This is most definitely not love. Love is more concerned about the needs of others than with upholding its own rights.
No doubt, from time to time people in church, people that we consider fellow Christians, will tread on our rights. What does love do in these situations? Love goes the extra mile. Jesus said, “And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well” (Matt. 5:40 ESV). Perhaps nobody here would go so far as to sue a fellow member of the church. But what if you lend someone in the church money on the assumption that it will be paid back? But that money is not paid back despite polite requests that go on for months. Then what? It would be within your rights to take the person to court, perhaps the small claims tribunal. But what if, instead of that, you gave up your rights and forgave the debt? Love does not need to insist on its own rights.
The second example of self-seeking in 1 Corinthians is found in chapter 8. The church had an issue with regard to food offered to idols. In the ancient world, meat did not come from the abattoir to the supermarket the way it does for us. Often the meat in the market place was sold after a portion of the slaughtered animal was offered to an idol. Some of the people in the church had been involved in idol worship before coming to Christ and did not eat any meat because they were concerned that it might have been offered to idols. Others in the church exercised their freedom in Christ to eat anything and everything. It was within the rights of all Christians to eat meat from the market place. But it is not loving to hurt the person with a weak conscience. Paul’s instructions were to act with the other person in mind.
“But take care that this right of yours does not somehow become a stumbling block to the weak. 10 For if anyone sees you who have knowledge eating in an idol’s temple, will he not be encouraged, if his conscience is weak, to eat food offered to idols? 11 And so by your knowledge this weak person is destroyed, the brother for whom Christ died. 12 Thus, sinning against your brothers and wounding their conscience when it is weak, you sin against Christ” (1 Cor. 8:9-12 ESV)
The matter of meat offered to idols does not really come up for us in our culture. But the same issue of wounding the conscience of another Christian does apply. What are we doing that hurts a weaker Christian? As a believer under grace I have great freedom. However, I might hurt someone by exercising that freedom. For example, once in church we had a discussion about musical instruments. Some insisted that we should worship God with all kinds of instruments. But one person in the church had severe tinnitus and could not stand listening to high pitched sounds. So we chose not to have tambourines in church.
Alcohol is a very pertinent example. I believe that Christians are free to drink alcohol as long as a person does not get drunk. But if there is someone who objects to alcohol or is perhaps a recovering alcoholic, it is best to avoid consuming alcohol in front of them. This is one reason why many churches don’t have alcohol in communion. It would serve us well to ask ourselves whether our freedom in Christ, or our rights as believers, has a negative impact on other people in the church. Do I always have to exercise my rights or can I choose to forfeit my rights out of love for someone else?
The third example of self-seeking behaviour in 1 Corinthians is in chapter 11, where the communion feast is discussed. You are probably familiar with the passage that begins, “On the night he was betrayed, he took bread and broke it”. The reason why Paul reminded the church of this tradition was because of the atrociously self-seeking way they were behaving when they met together. It is easier to understand this when you realise that the communion feast in the early church was a full meal not a token piece of bread and a sip of wine like our communion celebration. The actions of the church were so self-seeking that Paul outright rebuked them.
“But in the following instructions I do not commend you, because when you come together it is not for the better but for the worse. 18 For, in the first place, when you come together as a church, I hear that there are divisions among you. And I believe it in part, 19 for there must be factions among you in order that those who are genuine among you may be recognized. 20 When you come together, it is not the Lord’s supper that you eat. 21 For in eating, each one goes ahead with his own meal. One goes hungry, another gets drunk. 22 What! Do you not have houses to eat and drink in? Or do you despise the church of God and humiliate those who have nothing? What shall I say to you? Shall I commend you in this? No, I will not.” (1 Cor. 11:17-22 ESV).
When the church came together, they would eat a meal together, but the rich came with fancy food and the poor came with nothing. The rich ate their fancy food; the poor watched and went hungry. People were getting drunk in the Christian meeting! The rich had no concern about the body of Christ; they were only interested in themselves. The attitude was, “As long as I have what I need, I don’t care whether you have what you need.”
Self-interest tends to blind us to the needs of others. Love prompts us to look out for the needs of others. I doubt that this church is as outrageous as the Corinthian church. But we can learn something from their poor example. Is there someone in the church who is always alone at morning tea? Give up your comfortable clique and go speak to that lonely person. Include him or her in your life. It is easy to stick with the people you know and much harder to reach out to other people you don’t know well. But love is not self-seeking.
Not everyone in this church is wealthy. Some people may be struggling on a pension and need financial help from time to time. If there is a financial need, consider meeting that need. It is not evil to enjoy the good things God has provided for you. But do you need to rub it in that other people in church don’t have as much as you do? It may be exciting that you have bought a new car or a holiday home, but it might not be appropriate to talk about it in front of people who are struggling to pay the rent. Before you speak, consider the needs of the person you are with.
When love is in operation, we consider how our actions and choices affect other people around us. Being a Christian involves loving fellow believers and that often means giving up your own rights for the sake of others. It might mean exercising your rights privately, not in front of a believer who has a weak conscience. Instead of insisting on legal action, love might mean that you forfeit your right to collect on a debt. It may be that you need to stop looking out for what you need or want in church and start thinking about what other people need or want. Love is not self-seeking.
We have the example of Jesus as one who did not seek his own benefit but our benefit. He died that we might have forgiveness for our sins, including for the fact that we are self-seeking individuals. Jesus has given his people the Holy Spirit to sanctify and transform them. Part of that transformation is learning to look out for the interests of others, not just our own interests. Possibly, this message has brought to mind some self-seeking behaviours and attitudes. What shall we do about that? Confess that sin. Ask for God’s forgiveness based on the death of Christ. Consider what needs to change about your behaviour. Don’t despair because self-seeking is still part of your life. Remember the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and ask him to help you to be obedient and to be transformed.
Let’s take a little time to pray and confess our self-seeking and ask God to love others through us.